Do you ever feel like you and someone else just need to get on the same page (and it would be preferable if they’d go ahead and get on yours)?
I had a terrible dream the other night, the kind that’s hard to shake for several hours. In processing it with the Lord the next morning, remembering not just the details but the emotions it evoked, I realized it was to some degree a reflection of a current nagging fear. As our children get older (our youngest is now 14 1/2 years old) and we begin to extend their boundaries to find and follow their own convictions, my husband James and I aren’t always on the same page. In some things, he is more permissive. In some things, I am. In the dream, his permissiveness led to a situation that scared me to death! It had nothing to do with our reality right now, other than being on different pages on what may seem like a silly topic: How much language and which words should be “deal killers” when it comes to deciding on whether or not to see a movie?
My fear is where he is more permissive, is it too permissive? And if so, to what consequence for the moral decisions our kids make for themselves? I’m sure he feels the same way where I am the one who is too permissive!
Making a big deal of language in a movie may seem pretty petty. Oh that it felt petty to me! In fact, I’d almost rather it be petty so that I could let it go and quit being the family’s wet blanket.
But deep down where peace or panic reside (yep, that place of choosing faith or fear), I am one to say a little bit of poop in the brownies is still poop, and who wants to eat that? My husband sees it more as just a tiny ingredient in what is otherwise harmless, and since they are great kids, letting them go to movies that are harmless outside of a few bad words is okay.
This blog has NOTHING to do with who’s right or wrong or whether or not we should see movies with bad language.
It has EVERYTHING to do with the importance of being on the same page.
Whether it’s parenting, tithing, getting out of debt, how and where we school your kids, where to go to church, etc., getting on the same page is critically important for our marriages! And thus for our families, because when mom and dad are on the same page, everything just goes smoother.
So using my example of movies, my prayer isn’t that the Lord would show James that I’m right, but that He would show us both what is right in His eyes and put us on the same page: His page.
It’s a prayer I first learned to pray years ago when I worked myself into a terrified panic that the bottom was going to fall out of America financially, we weren’t going to be able to make our house payment, and we were going to be homeless if we didn’t pay our house off! I drove James NUTS!!!
Finally, I put it in the Lord’s hands and asked Him to convict us in unity for His will. How was I to know whether I was right or James was wrong? Even as I prayed this prayer, it gave me peace. And eventually, the Lord put us on the same page.
It’s the principle Paul teaches in Romans 12:16: “Be of the same mind toward one another.”
It’s not about you lining your mind, thinking or theology up with mine or me lining mine with yours; it’s about both of us having the mind of Christ, and in having the mind of Christ, we have the same mind!
Is there a topic or decision you and your husband need to get on the same page? Maybe instead of trying to make him see things your way, you could ask the Lord to show you both how to see it His way.
James and I agreed to disagree on the way we see language in movies, and we agreed on a way to move forward as a family. He put what was important and upsetting to me ahead of what was acceptable to him. Sometimes that’s what we need to do, applicable both ways. And then together, pray that the Lord show us His way.
Wives, remember, your husband is the head of your household and is accountable to the Lord for the decisions he makes on behalf of your marriage and your family. We absolutely need to be having meaningful conversations about the decisions we have to make and what the Lord would have us do, but ultimately, we are to submit to our husband as the head and final decision maker and then GET BEHIND HIM. If he makes a bad decision, he will be accountable for it and the consequences, even when they affect our kids. It’s hard to stand by and watch that, but we can trust the Lord to be in control of it all. And we can pray that the Lord will put us all on His page!
We could even apply this to the violence and division that is tearing our country apart. What if we stopped picking sides and all got on the same page with God? Oh what a glorious thing that would be!