My day was a bust. Everything felt hard; nothing went right. Attempts to advance projects ended in disappointment and frustration, and bedtime brought relief, an end to a disheartening day. My prayers were the kind for which there are no words; just my heart’s cry for God’s presence. His touch. His encouragement.
When I woke the next morning, instead of opening my Bible to read and study, I simply opened my journal.
Lord, I just want to be in Your presence this morning. You know better than I do what’s warring within me. I feel unsettled and uncertain – unanchored. Clearly Lord, I’ve fallen again into self-reliance. I’m trying to figure everything out myself! I don’t know what to do with so many things. Lord, I confess my doubts. I want to quit! All of it. Am I even making a difference? I feel like I’m ready to be done – to walk away. Shut down the blog and all my social media, box up all the books and just stop writing.
Have you ever been there? You know God has given you something to do but your efforts seem to hit a brick wall or go nowhere at all?
Then the Lord spoke to me:
Shauna, why do you kick against the goads?
They’re the words Jesus spoke to Saul (before he became known as Paul) on the road to Damascus as he hunted and imprisoned followers of Jesus. Jesus stopped him in his tracks, saying…